Visitors of the Night

And now it's time for The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a made-for-TV movie called Visitors of the Night and starring Markie Post and Candace "D.J. Tanner" Cameron as Markie's daughter. So D.J. was in high school and she and her mom kept fighting all the time, and then mysterious crop circles started appearing in the fields outside town. And then Markie Post went to the dentist and flipped out, so the dentist sent her to a hypnotist. And while she was hypnotized, Markie Post started having visions of aliens and space ships and being abducted. And then D.J. started disappearing for hours at a time and blacking out, so Markie Post figured out that the aliens were abducting her too. But at first, you thought maybe D.J. was part alien or something and there was this scene in school where D.J. had to give a presentation in school on physics, and I thought maybe she would turn out to be a genius because of her alien DNA, but really she just started yelling about how we're ruining the planet so I don't know what that was about. And then Markie Post figures out that both she and D.J. have been regularly abducted by aliens their whole lives, and then the spaceship comes back and Markie Post yells at the aliens to take her instead of D.J., and they do, and she finds out that the aliens have been harvesting the women's eggs to try to make a human-alien hybrid baby, but they failed because the babies don't have emotions and they can't cry or some such horseshit. So Markie Post gives this passionate speech to the aliens about how you can't raise a baby without a mother and single fathers around the world flipped off their televisions and then the aliens let her go home and she promises D.J. that it's all over and the aliens won't come back, and then in the very last scene the aliens totally come back and take Markie Post and D.J., like what kind of ending was that? I'll tell you what kind. An awesome one.