Rules of Attraction

And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw On TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was actually a movie, but it was on HBO, so I guess it counts. It was the film adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis's novel, The Rules of Attraction. Let me just say straight off that the movie is terrible. I'm not sure how it happened, but Roger Avary managed to take a film that was filled with sex and drugs and still make it boring. Anyway, it's awesome because it stars Dawson! And he does bad, bad things. So instead of listing the plot, which is stupid, I'm just going to tell you all the awesome things you can see Dawson do if you watch this movie. I highly suggest recording it, and then just fast-forwarding to the Dawson scenes. Dawson drinks whiskey straight from the bottle! Dawson has sex! Dawson drives a motorcycle! Dawson looks angry! Dawson sells drugs! Dawson hangs out in his underwear and adjusts his package! Dawson takes a shit! Dawson picks his nose! Dawson says, "Rock and roll!" And he says it on two separate occasions. Dawson kisses a boy! Dawson masturbates while listening to "Afternoon Delight"! Dawson has sex with Mary Camden while 'shrooming! And then later, Dawson punches Mary Camden right in the nose! So all of that was awesome.