Red Wind

And now it's time for the final Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week of the season. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a made-for-television movie called Red Wind starring Miss Lisa Hartman (before she married Clint Black). So anyway, Lisa plays a psychologist who is also an expert in sexuality and S&M relationships. Of course. There are a lot of hints in the beginning that the reason she's an expert is because she has been in such a relationship herself. Anyway, Lisa gets a new client -- a woman who is always shown in shadows -- who is being abused and sexually humiliated by her husband. So after they show shady woman for about one minute, I call my husband into the room and say, "That's a dude, right?" And he watches for five seconds and goes, "Yeah, obviously." So I spent the rest of the movie wondering how dumb Lisa was that she didn't know her client was a dude. So anyway, the client tells Lisa how she's going to kill her husband and put him in the wood chipper in her back yard. As you do. And the title is from when the woman described how she would turn her husband into a red wind. Ew. So then Lisa goes to the client's house, and there's blood all over the wood chipper. So instead of calling the cops, Lisa runs around and screams and messes up the evidence and then goes home. So the cops come sniffing around, and Lisa denies involvement. And then Lisa mysteriously has a new client -- a man -- who knows a lot about the wood chipper lady's life. Wow, I wonder how that guy knew so much? So Lisa falls into an abusive relationship with this guy, totally ditching her nice, normal boyfriend, played by Christopher "Shooter McGavin" McDonald. And then, there's supposed to be this big reveal where you find out that the male client and the female client are the same person, but anyone with eyes figured that out about ten minutes into the movie. And I haven't even mentioned the cigarette-smoking parking-lot attendant who helps the police and is the true star of the film. Which was awesome.