The Surreal Life

And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was the premiere episode of the new season of The Surreal Life. I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I think I've seen every episode of that show, not because I'm all that interested, but because I somehow always end up watching it at, like, 3:00 AM. So I watched the premiere, and I am so glad that I did. First to show up was the wrestler formerly known as Chyna, and I don't know if you have seen the pictures circulating on the internet of her private parts, but if you haven't, avoid them at all costs, because I am scarred for life. For life! So Chyna immediately grabbed the one single room, ignoring the fact that everything in the room (closet, bed, toilet, chairs) were all really scaled down. And then she got drunk. So the others (Peter Brady, Da Brat, Jane Wiedlin, Adrienne Curry, Marcus Schenkenburg, and Mini-Me) all showed up. And I knew it was going to be awesome because Mini-Me drives one of those little motorized scooters everywhere. So obviously, the room with the scaled-down furniture was supposed to be for Mini-Me, and he got pissed, but Chyna wouldn't give it up. And she was standing in there next to this miniature closet, going, "What? Why are you guys saying this room is for [Mini-Me]? Why can't it be my room?" She finally agreed to give it up. So then for dinner, Adrienne Curry served sushi off her naked body and Mini-Me was totally wasted and like, rubbing her nipple, which was creepy. So he passed out in his bed, and Adrienne and Jane decided to go naked in the hot tub. Peter Brady told Mini-Me that the girls were naked, and Mini-Me came back out. So then they're all sitting around (fully clothed) and Mini-Me is totally rubbing up on Peter Brady's thigh and patting him and loving him up as they sit together on this bench. And then Mini-Me totally passes out and nearly falls off the bench. So Peter Brady sets him back up, and he passes out a few more times, so Peter Brady ends up carrying him like a baby back into the house, which was hilarious. So then later, Da Brat gets up to sleep on the couch, because her roommate Chyna is snoring. On the way, she sees Mini-Me, stark naked, sitting on his scooter in the exercise room. So she asks if he's okay, and she notices that he's taking a whiz in the corner. You haven't lived until you've seen Mini-Me, naked, peeing in the corner while sitting on his scooter. I hope he didn't mess up the electrical system. So Da Brat gets Peter Brady, but what do you do in that situation? Laugh. Which is what everyone did. And it was awesome.