90210/Endurance

And now it's time for The Most Awesome Thing I Saw On TV Last Week. It's actually a tie. The first most awesome thing was the episode of Beverly Hills 90210 where Kelly takes in Tara, the crazy psycho. So Tara becomes obsessed with Kelly, and the writers basically rip off Single White Female right down to the matching haircuts, boyfriend-stealing, and pet-killing, although in Kelly's case, Tara killed her goldfish, like, who cares about their goldfish that much? Anyway, Kelly tells Tara to move out, and the actress playing Tara (who also played stupid she-wolf Veruca on Buffy) looks so much like Cheri Oteri that I kept expecting the whole storyline to be a skit on SNL. So Tara pulls a gun and forces Kelly to drive to some cliff, where they were going to kill themselves via carbon monoxide poisoning. I think was the same cliff that Val threatened to jump from at one point, so they should just go ahead and name it Suicide Leap or whatever. So Kelly pretends like she really wants to die so that Tara unties her, and then Kelly grabs the gun and rolls out of the car, and then Tara goes to the nuthouse and is never, ever mentioned again like every other storyline on 90210 that was quickly forgotten, even though for most people it would be the most dramatic and unforgettable moment in their lives. But when shit like that happens every day, I guess it's not as memorable. And the second most awesome thing was this show that has been on for a few years on Saturday mornings called Endurance. It's basically a teenage version of Survivor, but better, because in addition to all of the inherent drama of the competition and the voting off and stuff, you have the inherent drama of junior high school with the crushes and the cattiness. And there is this one girl who is the most popular and everyone loves her, and she totally knows it and lords it over the others. So of course her name is Ashley. And she has a henchman in the second most popular girl. Whose name is, of course, Sabrina. And in the episode I saw, they were going to vote off the sort of awkward frizzy-haired girl. So Frizzy begged not to go, and on this show, two teams are marked for elimination and then they compete to stay by playing a hilarious version of Rock Paper Scissors. So Frizzy's team ended up winning and staying, and then Frizzy was all hugging the other girls when she got back to camp, like, those bitches tried to get rid of you and now you are hugging them? So it serves the dual purpose of being really juicy and backstabby as well as reminding me how fucking glad I am that I'm not thirteen years old anymore. Plus they have super-complicated names for everything like (I'm making these up) the Tree of Survival and the Temple of Backstabbing Bitches and stuff. It's awesome.