The Cool and the Crazy

The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a television movie called The Cool and the Crazy, starring Alicia Silverstone and Jared "Jordan Catalano" Leto. It was set in the '50s, and I don't know what it is with TV movies being set in the '50s, but there you go. Alicia and Jordan play a high-school couple who get married right after graduation in a double ceremony with their best friends, and then they all get apartments near each other and get pregnant at the same time. So Alicia and her friend (played by Jennifer Blanc who was Kate, Bailey's girlfriend, on Party of Five) get bored with hanging out with their babies all the time, and Kate starts having an affair with a total greaser and hooks Alicia up with her boyfriend's friend, who is not just a greaser but also crazy like a shithouse rat. So they all sneak out all the time and have sex with their boyfriends and stuff and Alicia spends most of the time whining because she's just not a very good actress. And also I think the script was not quite finished when they started filming, so every scene begins and ends with improvised business and Alicia and Kate couldn't quite pull it off so every scene starts with them giggling and shoving each other and skipping and shit and then they deliver their lines and then they giggle some more. So Alicia's crazy greaser boyfriend starts making more and more demands on her and I'm not quite sure what she was doing with her baby while she was off getting naked on the beach with crazy greaser boyfriend but whatever. Jordan busts her with her boyfriend and leaves home. So then there's this whole subplot where Jordan hooks up with Mark Greene's ex-wife Jen, who is a beatnik. And Jordan starts hanging out at her apartment and then Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady come by (no, I'm not kidding) and do drugs and wave guns around. So Jordan gets scared because he's bourgeois at heart. And Alicia gets scared because of her crazy greaser boyfriend (oh, and did I mention that he's also married?) and breaks up with him and gets back together with Jordan. So one night, crazy greaser boyfriend kidnaps Alicia, and Jordan chases them down but the crazy greaser friends won't give her back, so Jordan goes to Jen Greene's place and gets Jack Kerouac's gun and then there's another car chase and then Jordan gets Alicia back. And then some drug dealers come and beat up crazy greaser boyfriend because he scammed them out of some money or something. And then Alicia and Jordan realize that they got married too young and decide to split up amicably. The end.