Joe Schmo

And now it's time for The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was the new faux-reality show Joe Schmo on Spike TV. If you haven't heard about it, the producers got a group of actors and then one regular guy, and they told the regular guy that he was on a reality show, but really the whole thing is fake. So it's kind of like watching a regular reality show, but they try to make it totally over-the-top, and you think any minute the guy is going to figure it out, but so far he hasn't. They even have the requisite smarmy host who delivers super-cheesy lines, complete with dramatic pauses, and they cast all the reality-show types, like the Virgin and the Asshole and the Old Crusty Guy. There was a lot about it that was awesome, including the immunity challenge where they all had to touch various body parts to a naked porn star and the last person to let go won immunity. So the producers planned to have it be a showdown between the regular guy and the asshole, but then the regular guy let go first, totally ruining their plans, and they showed a shot of the people in the control room gasping, which was awesome. But the greatest part was the elimination ceremony, where they all "voted" for one person to leave. And the contestants all lined up on these bleachers and the host walked in and just stared at them for ten minutes before speaking, just like on The Bachelor. And each contestant had a commemorative plate with his or her face on it. A plate. Awesome. So then the host read off the votes and the schemer was voted out. So she had to serve her plate to the host and then she gave the most ridiculous speech about snakes and rats and cockroaches. And then the host was like, "Ashes and ashes, dust to dust, from the point forward, you are dead to us," and he threw her plate in the fire! Awesome! And she stomped out and the host was trying to give some concluding remarks but you could hear the schemer in the background yelling because she couldn't figure out how to get out of the house. So everyone thought the regular guy had to have figured it out at this point, and one of the contestants went up to his room for damage control, but it turned out the regular guy was just pissed off because the schemer -- with whom he was supposed to have an alliance -- had voted for him. I thought the whole show would be really dumb, but maybe after recapping six seasons of Real World, as well as Love Cruise, Boot Camp, Tough Enough, The Mole, and Joe Millionaire, I just really appreciate spoofs of reality shows.