Maximum Exposure

And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. You know how sometimes you're just flipping through the channels, and you find one of those home video shows, and you know it's going to be really dumb and/or anticlimactic, but you watch it anyway, because there's nothing else on? So that's sort of how I came to watch Maximum Exposure last week. Apparently, each episode has a theme, and the theme of this episode was drunk people. Given the show I recap, I figured there wouldn't be anything on there I haven't seen, and I was mostly right, but there were a few clips that were awesome. In the first, a really drunk guy gets pursued by a police car – while driving a lawnmower. And he fell off the lawnmower in super-slow motion, and the cops chasing him were just giggling their asses off. So that was awesome. And the second clip was a drunk guy who had been pulled over and he was wearing cutoff jean shorts and no shirt with work boots, just to give you the visual, and the cop must have asked him to perform some part of the sobriety test, and drunk guy picked up a GIANT orange traffic cone, and held it up like a megaphone and just yelled at the cop, "NOOOO!" Come on. Picture a guy using a giant traffic cone as a megaphone. It's funny. But it gets better. The next guy in a similar situation took a giant traffic cone and put it on his head. So it came down to, like, his elbows. And then he started doing the field sobriety test as though he totally didn't have a cone on his head. So he was touching his nose and walking a straight line. With a giant cone on his head. So he was really just touching the cone where his nose would be. And he concluded his performance by doing a little dance, and I wish I could demonstrate the dance for you, but just imagine someone who can't lift his arms up much due to having a giant traffic cone on his head shaking his arms about and kind of doing the Twist. Because it was awesome.